Amplify Your Impact: Harnessing Your Emotional Intelligence Superpower

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand and manage your own emotions – and to recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others. It involves five core components: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Ultimately, emotional intelligence is what helps people to navigate complex interpersonal situations, lead effectively, and build trust – within the workplace and in daily life.

And it was the topic of discussion by Rachel Kuhlen during her Opening Keynote at the most recent Accelerate! Conference & Expo in Dallas last week.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Kuhlen emphasizes that emotional intelligence isn’t a soft skill relegated to the sidelines but a core leadership capability that shapes how people communicate, collaborate, and make decisions under pressure. In her keynote, she highlighted the power of self-awareness, the importance of understanding others’ perspectives, and the need to manage emotions in a way that strengthens—not disrupts—relationships. Kuhlen framed emotional intelligence as a strategic advantage that fuels trust, resilience, and truly effective leadership.

“Becoming who I thought I had to be made me the worst version of myself,” recalls Rachel Kuhlen. “Integrity isn’t about being honest or authentic about who you are, but it’s about aligning your values, words and actions.”

The word "values" has lost its luster, buried under more exciting buzzwords like authenticity, alignment, and purpose, Kuhlen explains. “We know we have values, but we don't often actively practice them. Values are like background noise in that they are familiar, present, but not in the forefront. Most of us could probably rattle off a few values, such as honesty, kindness, family, and commitment, but couldn't articulate our own and how they manifest in our daily decisions.”

If you've ever felt burned out, hurt, or resentful about something you've said yes to, there's a good chance you've walked away from one (or more) of your values without even realizing it, she continues.

For example, suppose you have values around artistic expression or nature but are stuck in a grey cubicle working on Excel spreadsheets all day. Then your evenings are spent rushing through obligations and errands. In that case, it's no wonder you might feel resentful. Let's be real, walking in nature isn't going to pay your electric bill. Most of us can't quit our jobs to go water coloring by the beach. However, when we don't carve out any space to honor those values outside of work, even in small ways, burnout can build. Resentment doesn't always come from the job; however, it's easy to blame our jobs. It can also stem from abandoning the parts of ourselves that make life feel meaningful.

No one wakes up and says, "I think I'm going to compromise my values today." However, we often do, because we don't know what our actual values. When we don't know our actual values, we fall into integrity traps.

Beware: Integrity Traps Sneak In Quietly

Don’t succumb to “integrity traps,” such as peer pressure, self-doubt, cognitive dissonance or justification, warns Kuhlen. She provides examples of what such integrity traps can look like:

• Saying yes when your gut says no, to avoid rocking the boat (peer pressure).
• Shrinking your vision because that inner voice whispers, "Who am I to do this?" (self-doubt).
• Feeling unsettled because your actions no longer align with your values, yet pushing through anyway (cognitive dissonance).
• Telling yourself "just this once" to justify what you'd never recommend someone else do (justification).

“The danger isn't that these traps exist,” she says, “it's how easily they can be ignored. And when we stop noticing them, we start drifting away from who we are.”

How to Harness Your Emotional Intelligence Superpower

Life becomes simpler when your values, words, and actions are in alignment.

“But let's be clear, simpler doesn't mean easier,” says Kuhlen. “You feel a sense of relief and empowerment when you're no longer feeling resentment, spinning in circles, or wondering how others will react. Instead, you anchor yourself in what's right for you, and people trust you more. More importantly, you trust yourself. Your decisions feel more grounded, and you stop second-guessing yourself.”

One-degree shift: Uncover your actual values, not the ones you think you “should” have, but the ones that truly anchor you. Know your core values, as they become your internal compass.

Once you know what truly matters to you, you gain a sense of direction and confidence. It becomes easier to make aligned decisions, set clear boundaries, and lead with a sense of self-assuredness and clarity.

Then turn your core values into non-negotiables, advises Kuhlen: “Quiet non-negotiables, honored consistently, are what integrity is built on.”

Intentionality Equates to Choosing On Purpose

This is where intentionality gets personal. Because it’s one thing to talk about values and non-negotiables in theory. It’s another thing to ask: What am I actually choosing for myself?

Kuhlen advises to ask yourself these questions when thinking about your life choices and activities: Am I choosing alignment, or am I choosing appearances? Am I choosing growth, or am I choosing comfort? She offers these perspectives:

So many leaders confuse busyness with effectiveness. My most demanding boss told me, when I sat down for my performance review, "Activity doesn't equal achievement." That stopped me in my tracks.

I was raised in a household where it was always better to look busy. Doing more and staying busy got you the "good" kind of attention. So, when I entered the working world, I showed up early, stayed late, and said yes to everything. And yes, I got noticed but not in the way I hoped. I became the dependable, burned out "gopher," the one everyone turned to for extra projects, not the one tapped for promotions or raises.

What I hadn't realized yet was this: doing more doesn't equal doing what matters.

The key is intentional effort, not scattered busyness. When you focus your time and energy on the one or two projects that will deliver the most significant return, you feel more focused and purposeful. It’s the same in our personal lives, when we focus on carving out intentional time to do what matters such as going for a walk, making a phone call to catch up with a friend, reading, dropping your donations at the donation center, making the doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off, you feel more focused and purposeful. The rest of the work and stuff that needs to get done still moves forward, but with a proportionate level of effort.

At work, I stopped letting every new and shiny idea derail my focus. Great ideas are everywhere, and people love to rally behind them initially. However, they often fizzle out or get replaced by the next new thing. That start-stop energy creates confusion, burnout, and a backlog of half-finished priorities.

So, we created systems. We slowed down one-off requests from other departments, built intake processes, grouped similar needs into shared solutions, and limited over-customization. Most importantly, we stopped treating everything like a five-alarm fire.

I realized I had been putting pressure on myself to deliver faster, do more, respond immediately, when no one else was asking for that. It wasn't sustainable, and it wasn't a smart move.

Intentionality means we stop reacting and start discerning. Not every idea deserves immediate action. Not every project needs to be priority one. And if everything is a priority? Then nothing truly is.

Intentionality is about choosing what matters before the chaos decides for you.

One-degree shift: This one is deceptively simple yet powerful. Instead of defaulting to an immediate "yes" every time someone asks for your help, input, or involvement, give yourself space to evaluate. A simple "Let me think about that and get back to you" or “Let me take a look at what I have on my plate already and get back to you” is a one-degree shift that protects your time and energy and forces intentionality into the conversation.

Small Shifts That Shape Big Outcomes

Leadership isn't about giant leaps. Leadership is built on micro-decisions, targeted effort, and one-degree shifts that compound over time. Kuhlen suggests there’s good news: You already have what it takes; you need to trust it enough to take action.

“Small shifts in the right direction lead to extraordinary destinations,” she concludes. “It doesn't matter whether you're behind the wheel, managing a fleet, or leading a team; emotional intelligence doesn't require perfection — it requires presence.”

Related Articles:

• Small Shifts, Big Impact: How One-Degree Shift Can Amplify Your Leadership
• Navigating Workplace Conflict and Difficult Conversations
• The Stress Illusion: Defying The Lies That Make Work Harder Than It Needs To Be
• The Art of Communication in Trucking
• Becoming A Standout Leader

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